Sunday, March 31, 2013

Internet, you're going to give me a complex.

I need to stay away from the internet. Especially when it comes to any opinions on dating advice past college, gender roles, or any analysis of my generation. Because the combination of those three (plus a healthy dose of craigslist personal ad gawking) is going to give me a complex.

I might already have a bit of one.*

Here's the thing. There are a crap ton of articles out there on how difficult it is to meet someone, even just make a friend, after college. I mean, college is the perfect time to meet people. You're surrounded by like minded people on an even playing field with tons of free time. And hey, since every one is going through so many changes in life, your social circles are rapidly contracting and expanding, which means the ball is rolling. Even if you're not very socially inclined yourself, there's always gonna be at least a couple of lonely extroverts who are motivated to put a group together, and you could coast on that alone. Or together...that's a bad pun.

Anyway, I get it. But if I read one more doom and gloom article about how once I get out of medical school, I'm going to get into a residency across the country, have to start over from scratch, and making friends is going to be an impossibility so welcome to being lonely for life...I'm gonna go nuts.

There are also a ton of articles on how hard it is for older ladies in the dating game. Because what does age and experience bring that could ever even out the fact that she is aging? I mean, why would a man not go for the hot young thing? Clearly that is the number one thing a woman can offer in a relationship, to the point of exclusion of anything below the surface. Really, it's the comments to dating articles that get the worst here. Some people are trolling, but really I think the vast majority are just stretching their opinions in a place where they wont get dirty looks for them.

While it'd be exaggerated to say this in real life, it's not terribly exaggerated to say that this is the mood of the internet. I mean come on there's even statistics to back it up.

Finally, I'm sick of reading articles that our generation is too lazy, too destroyed by the economy, too dependent on technology to socialize, or too whatever to be able to survive and turn into successful adults. It's cool. We've got this. The world is changing, and...we're too young to know any better.You may not be able to give us the same kind of advice that would have been useful for you at our age, and that's ok. Because, 1. We probably wouldn't listen to it anyway and 2. we will simply adapt to whatever the world throws at us. We're kinda in that stage of our life where adapting is simply existing and vise versa.

I know, I KNOW that the generation before us got the same crap. Oh! The debauchery of those under 30! Will they ever get their heads out of the oven and their shoes on the right feet? Please. Your generation was just as bad. In fact, it's likely you never stopped glorifying your escapades or  even stopped having them. Good.

Still, I take the three of these articles together and I can paint a fabulous watercolor of misery with my own future tears. I am well on my way to being knee high in debt that I am powerless to control, friendless, and past my expiration date as a woman. Fun. Looking forward to the future.

Yeesh.

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*But even though I can roll my eyes at being powerless or friendless, this expiration date thing really bothers me. Deep inside, I know not every one gets a happy ending. Meh. Everyone needs something to be a little insecure about. It makes us human.

2 comments:

  1. Reading comments on any kind of article makes me lose faith in the human race -- I think you are right that anonymity brings out the worst in people. Whether guys realize it or not, most of them age even worse than we do. A lot of the hot Guys of my youth are fat and bald now.

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    Replies
    1. Oh, I think the men know it. It's impossible to think that they couldn't when you look at the guys in advertisements. Or even mannequins at sports authority, they're giants! I'm sure if they had heads, they'd measure in at least 6'5". The expectations are to be huge, positively ripped, and hairless. But most men feel the need to suppress those insecurities or be labeled something worse.

      In my head, I'd like to think that the guys who are particularly harsh on women are the ones that are most insecure of all, and they're playing the young bully card where you pick on someone or some group mercilessly so that everyone knows how different you are in your anti-masculinity hunt for self affirmation. "Look at how high my standards are! Only those of the highest masculine quality keep such high standards of what is masculine! And I am such a masculine man!"

      But really, I don't think that's true for most people after they've grown up. They're full blown narcissists down to to the DSM. Their huge opinion of themselves is well fortified by some measure of success and affirmation from other people, otherwise there'd be nothing for it to take hold in. If they're not feeling the same pressures as everyone else, it's because they think they're above it because believe human worth is graded on different scales depending on the gender.

      Which in practice, is true I suppose. So I'm not going to get the sour grapes consolidation I want there either. I'm just glad I don't have to listen to this crap offline too.

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